Mirrors… reflection vs. replication

by emily burke


I had heard that the twin flame relationship is like a mirror from the very beginning of my journey with Candace. In the beginning I took more of a superficial approach to the idea of a mirrored relationship. I saw it as meaning we were an exact replica of each other, like we were the same person. Every little quirk that we discovered made us scream with elation… “oh my god you’re deathly afraid of fish too???” “we both have the same honking laugh that we got rid of when we were teenagers!!! “You have to sleep with a 1980s style box fan? So do I!!!!” But as we’ve gotten deeper into our relationship I’ve realized that the idea of mirrors is much more about reflection, not replication. Our individual qualities are often so polar opposite that they reflect back onto us what we need to see more clearly within ourselves. We are able to see our strongest, and our weakest qualities more clearly, because the other persons qualities reflect them back to us. For example, we are very different when it comes to communication. My ease with verbal communication has made Candace in an argument realize that she needs to open up more, express herself, and spend more time verbally working things out. On the other hand, her good listening skills, calming energy, and ability to forgive and move on quickly has made me realize that my communication skills can sometimes lead to me dominating conversation, talking in circles, and bull dozing the quieter person. The more dominant qualities that we have come with their good and their bad, and having a partner with opposite qualities causes this yin and yang factor that pushes us to evolve as people, and also creates this beautiful challenge in the relationship with balance being the ultimate goal.

This idea of mirrors finally made sense to me earlier on our morning run, which is often when I have the most clarity. Ironically enough, as I was explaining what I want to write about, Candace and I had a classic conversation which proved exactly what I was trying to explain. Once I finally had my thoughts together, I excitedly started telling Candace what it was that I wanted to write about. She listened intently for several minutes as my explanation turned into a bit of a rambling broken record. Like a hyper kid asking “do ya get it do ya get it do ya get it?!?!?!” my intensely energetic excitement for what I had just wrapped my brain around was met with my mirror who listens ever so intently, patiently takes it all in, and then eventually gets frustrated by the repetition and blurts out “Yes Emily, I get it, I got it as soon as you started explaining it.” And then we both started hysterically laughing. In this type of situation I am always learning that I don’t need to explain things 37 times, and Candace is learning that if she just communicates more verbally, maybe I will shut up a little faster 😉

And now, I will listen to Justin Timberlakes “Mirrors” on repeat for the rest of the day. ;-p