sand and souls

There are many times lately that I feel myself becoming more spiritually aware… to the point where it almost hurts. It is uncomfortable, unfamiliar, and chaotic feeling. I don’t always have the words to describe the feeling, to explain what it is my brain and my soul are experiencing. I read about it, listen to podcasts about it, talk to other like minded people about it. Concepts about ascension, astrology, soulmates, angels, spiritual enlightenment… its also new to me. It sometimes seems silly to blog about something I have a hard time putting into words. But maybe some of you know the feeling I’m experiencing and can relate and give me the words I can’t find. I just feel like I am on a journey toward inner peace, but the journey in this moment doesn’t always feel peaceful. It feels like a purging.

For so long I’ve lived with anxiety. With a burning in the core of who I am that I’ve silenced, denied and buried. That feeling lingers, even though I am now living my truth. That demon isn’t dead yet. I don’t know how to completely kill it… but I am trying. I see the bliss and peace in myself that I want. But how do I not stress about not being there yet? I spoke to a friend yesterday about “my anxiety disorder.” And she told me the first step to getting out of my own head is to stop labeling myself. The more I repeat the words “anxiety disorder” to myself, the more anxiety I am going to create. Well golly gee.. duh! I listen to Abraham.. I believe in creating your own reality. I should know that by now.

I am starting to learn that no one else can “fix” me… and reading that I don’t even need to be fixed. That I am perfect as I am in this moment, that I am safe and that evolution is a gift. I am trying to enjoy my alone time, something I used to hate. I am trying not to judge myself for my struggles. I am trying to do the things that bring me peace more often. Journaling, singing, learning about spirituality, running, writing.

I don’t really know what this post is even about other than to let you know if you are feeling what I am feeling… you aren’t alone. Supposedly 2015 is the year of spiritual awakening for a lot of people. So… I guess lucky for us that we are among them 😉

Here’s a little Abraham clip that made my day today 🙂 Candace and I are going to be attending the workshop in October.. I can’t wait!!

http://www.lawofattractioninteraction.com/GetHappy.php#