sand and souls

I feel like I am now in a relationship with Abraham just as much as I am with Candace 😉 Or, as Abraham would probably rather me say, I am now in a relationship with myself. I am learning what makes me tick and I am starting to analyze and want to fix the habits I’ve developed over the years, especially the “monkey mind” or hamster wheel of anxiety I’ve developed. I have always had a tendency to look outside myself for happiness. Connections with other souls make me feel more connected to Source (or God, or the Universe.. whatever you believe in as our higher power) rather than looking inward and connecting with myself to connect with Source. I’ve been finding myself in certain moments clinging to Candace for connection, and when it doesn’t come easily, or as often as I would like, feeling frustrated.

I have been listening to Abraham for months now but there is just so much information that I am always discovering more. And as it always goes, when the student is ready, the information will present itself. I stumbled across one workshop video which I posted the other day, and that led me to many more. I’m finding them to be so insightful that I am sitting here at my computer, alone, in my own zone, clapping and crying tears of joy. This is what happens when Candace leaves me for three hours to go do hair… it is quite the scene 😉

What I am learning this week is that the feeling of falling is love is one of the best, and probably for many people, the easiest ways of feeling connected to source. But once things settle, we often allow ourselves to get stuck again. We want the high of falling in love never to go away. We cling to it, we expect too much of it, we look at our mate and wonder why we can’t be high together all the time. The reality is, that feeling of connection does not have to go away, but the person we are with is not, and never was responsible for our connection to source, or as Abraham would say, our being inside the “vortex.” They were simply a catalyst for us to feel connected, and then it is our own homework to continue to find that connection and happiness in ourselves. It is something we have to practice and work at every single day. Abraham says that the best marriage is 2 people coming together for the purpose of co-creating, taking full responsibility for their own happiness and connection to Source, and that true unconditional love of another is a direct reflection of   true unconditional love of the self. We have heard time and time again that we can not love another until we love ourselves but I am not sure that most people truly and completely grasp that concept, and I have never heard it explained as well as Abraham explains it.

I know the last 2 posts have been about Abraham and I know its a pretty far out there kinda concept, that this woman is a medium for some higher level source of consciousness… but this information is so insightful for everyone to hear, regardless of what you believe in. You don’t need to believe in Abraham to be able to absorb the content of these videos. I promise 😉

This first one was my fave, especially the end

And the rest of these are great too. Or, you can pretty much just click around on Youtube and spend your whole day learning all the secrets of the universe like i do 😉

This.

is.

EVERYTHING.

Everything we need to hear about attracting love, what the true purpose of a soulmate is, and why our relationship with ourselves must always come FIRST before we can foster healthy relationships with other people.

“Your soulmate will give you grief if its really a good soulmate”

“You don’t want to be leaning on some perfect person that all you have to do is observe them and you feel good”

“You wanna be able to stand out there, with anyone. You wanna say to anyone, bring it on. Because my happiness doesn’t depend on how you behave. My happiness depends on my ability to focus. And the worse you behave, the better I get at focusing!”

“We want your marriage vows to go like this:  Dear one. I want you to know that as much as I love you, there is someone who comes first before you. And that is my alignment with the source within me. My inner being, thats who I’m devoted to. Thats who I’m aligned to. Thats who I’m feeling for. Thats who my commitment is to. And my promise to you is that I will give you as much as I can, the fullness of me, not a separated me. I’m going to do my best to satisfy my alignment and therefore give you the gift of living with someone who is aligned.”

Abraham for the win. Again. 😉

“These are two who immediately sense the unalterable fact that they have been–are–and must always be One… even though they might have fought against their fate for centuries and struggled in vain to escape their linked destiny… Almost from the first moment they meet and gaze upon each other, their spirits rush together in joyful recognition, ignoring all convention and custom, all social rules of behaviour, driven by an inner knowing too overwhelming to be denied….” ― Plato

Sometimes in life you have to deny all logic and convention, disregard social norms, turn a blind eye to the opinions of others, and instead listen to your heart, trust your gut, and make your own rules.

We are jumping in. No looking back, only to our future. The future, with each other, is looking pretty damn bright… full of possibilities, love and adventure.

We are engaged, in love, and ready for what life has in store for us.
Happy 11:11 everybody. Today is a sacred day… a day for making wishes, setting new intentions, manifesting exactly what we want. Today is a day to believe in magic. Anything can happen. Life is so beautiful…

OK NYC mamas, clients, and Facebook friends…  As many of you know, my girlfriend and master hair stylist Candace Padilla moved to NYC in July. Yesterday we finally collaborated. She worked her magic on my client’s hair and then I showed up 2 hours later for our shoot to one beautifully styled mama. Many of my clients ask where they should get their hair done and now I finally have someone for ya 😉 Not only is she insanely talented with 17 years experience, but she will also come to your home!! So please keep her in mind.. if you need a cut, color, blowout, styling… OR if you know anyone else that does, please pass her name around y’all… or even share this post for me. Much love and happy Tuesday!!

My Dad has become quite the poet this year. I am always amazed by his “boems” as we call them 🙂 This one is dedicated to me, Candace, Scott and Gina, Scotts girlfriend. The names he uses in the beginning are all of the nicknames he has given us… he is the best, clearly. You know you want your own nickname… don’t be jealous 😉

I don’t think I need to say much here… my Dad’s words say it all. They left us all in tears. In fact, Gina and I were texting pics of our teary eyes to each other on the way to our jobs this morning… #besties.

Thank you Dad… for your beautiful words and for the love behind them. Your support has been everything. eve.ry.thing. literally.

The Expanding Love Circle

With Midnight Moon and Sunrise Dawn,

there’s a beautiful Bridge to the Buffer Zone.

The Circle of Life is alive and well, and each

of these lovers has their own story to tell.

Sometimes life takes a different turn,  

in this Circle there are no Bridges burned.

Looking at our lives, things happen for a reason,

Finding our authentic selves is not an act of treason.

It’s better to have loved and lost, than to never love at all.

In the moment there was a cost, but now love’s standing tall.

They all had to endure, excruciating growing pains,

but now the dust has settled, and the Circle still remains.

Inside this circle, there’s loving family and friends.

Who followed them on this path, where loyalty never ends.

What we have to look forward to, an expanding circle of love,

as God looks down with loving eyes, and blesses from up above.

The circle, by Tim Rice

“From the day we arrive on the planet

And blinking, step into the sun

There’s more to see than can ever be seen

More to do than can ever be done

There’s far too much to take in here

More to find than can ever be found

But the sun rolling high

Through the sapphire sky

Keeps great and small on the endless round

It’s the Circle of Life

And it moves us all

Through despair and hope

Through faith and love

Till we find our place

On the path unwinding

In the Circle

The Circle of Life

It’s the Circle of Life

And it moves us all

Through despair and hope

Through faith and love

Till we find our place

On the path unwinding

In the Circle

The Circle of Life…”

My dad posted this song on Facebook after an absolutely epic weekend of our circle of love growing bigger and better. I thought it was absolutely perfect. Scott brought his beautiful girlfriend home to NY to meet not only his family but also mine!! And while they were all in NY, Candace and I were in Denver for a little work and some time with her friends and family. In fact, this may sound crazy, (is anything actually crazy anymore???) but we actually swapped apartments for the weekend!!! Yep! They spent a few days in our apartment in NYC before heading upstate to meet the families, while Candace and I stayed in their apartment!!! We are so ridiculously unconventional and I love it!

Scott posted this picture last night of his outing with our families and captioned it “family is forever.” I think my heart almost burst wide open with happiness, gratitude and love for these people. Even though I miss them all and wished I was there, part of me felt that it was better because it gave everyone some space to bond with Scott and his girlfriend. My family has missed him so much… he was their son, their brother, and I am so happy that they can all continue their relationships with him, and that his girlfriend is so loving and open to embracing them into her life as well. Family IS forever… and divorce does not have to change that!

Meanwhile, in Denver, our circle continued to grow on Candace’s side of the world too.  I got to bond w her mom, who may be my new BFF and possibly my partner in crime who may have accidentally turned me into a shopaholic. The craze that came over us while shopping at this little boutique in Denver called Pinks was so insane we both kept saying we felt like we were on drugs. I ended up going in 3 separate times and making 4 separate purchases. This is NOT my norm people… I swear. The owner said I literally set a new record. I’m Pinkaddicted. I also got to spend time with Can’s best friends on Halloween, her little nephew for his 6th birthday, and her clients at her old job Blondies. Her boss is amazing and is allowing her to work anytime she visits Denver! I hung around at the salon all day and was able to meet some of her favorite clients and experience their excitement at being able to have their favorite stylist back for the day. It was a beautiful thing to see how grateful they were, and how much love and support they have for Candace. I’ve never been a salon girl… in fact, i used to hate getting my haircut so much that I would often go years between cuts, sometimes having friends trim me, or rarely “splurging” on a mall haircut. So, I’m pretty amused at how addicted I’ve become to salon life. It literally feeds my soul to be around so many interesting people who literally become like family with their hair stylists… who knew?? After many years of working together you really develop a close bond. Most of them were in tears talking to Can about how happy they are for her. One client after meeting me told Candace with tears in her eyes “this is real. You two are going to grow old together.” Be still my heart!!!! She also told me how much she loves my blog and that I need to post more often, and that my next post needs to be about my hilarious relationship with Candace’s cat. So that’s up next folks. Hehe.

I’m feeling so inspired after such an incredible weekend in Denver. Being around such supportive souls, who are so easy to connect with, and whose love for Candace just poured out of them was incredible. It’s also so exciting to be around someone who is so passionate, and so damn good at what they do. Candace is truly in gifted at her job, and I don’t mean just doing hair… she’s INSANELY  talented with hair.  But it’s more than that. This job is so much about connecting with people, reading them, listening to them, making them feel good, and she is naturally gifted at that. She makes people feel special, and brings so many new souls into our circle because of it.

So thanks again Dad for this song… it perfectly summed up what an amazing weekend we all had, full of love, memories and new connections. We are all blessed to be part of each other’s circle of life and love… forever. 🙂

Few more pics from the weekend!!

Us with Candace’s bestie Joe on Halloween! (We were Ursula and Cruella.. still don’t know what Joe was.. haha)

Making a house call to one of Candace’s best clients… we always have SOOO much fun with them and they served us wine and charcuterie… YUM!!!!!

My mom and Scott’s mom, reunited!!!

And my personal favorite… Facetiming with Scott and our cat Mushu 🙂

In this moment:

I’m editing some of the most beautiful, epic images wondering how this is really my job, chatting online with my bestie ex husband about work and funny quotes that need to be added to my infamous quote book, listening to “The Story” by Brandie Carlile, in my adorable apartment with my beautiful girlfriend… so in love, so happy, so at peace. Thinking to myself…

How did this happen?

I

am

so

grateful.

Oh man what a week!! I had a blast in Sayulita, Mexico on a yoga retreat with a group from my Denver gym, Endorphin. Group trips always have a way of teaching you about yourself by being around new people 24/7. I left with lots of memories, lots of new friends, and a solid list of things I learned 😉

~Like attracts like. Doing group trips with people that are like minded creates much deeper conversation, and much deeper connections.

~Yoga doesn’t have to be about shutting your mind off, but rather connecting with yourself, and allowing your thoughts to become more channeled.

~Wearing helmets while drinking tequila is always a good idea.

~You can never listen to the song “Hooked on a Feeling” too many times… on vacation or ever!!! Ouga Chaka ouga!!!

~We are all connected. The things that bother us or excite us about other people are usually a reflection of something we see in ourselves.

~No electricity in 90 degree weather can make you a little crazy. A lot crazy. 

~Sharing a room with a lizard is easier once you name him. Alejandro… I actually kinda miss you.

~Being in love with someone different from you allows you to attract different types of people into your circle.

~No matter how hard I try I’ll never be a water baby. The fear of fish is too real.

~Quiet people are often the funniest people, and are so worth taking the extra time to get to know.

~I’m a party animal at heart and no yoga trip can take that out of me.. 😉

~Scorpions are real, and people who get stung by them, survive, and don’t complain are super bad ass. 

~I’m amazed by the generosity of new friends.

~It is important to allow all people to live their own journey, without judgement or absorbing their energy.

~Extroverted people sometimes have a much deeper side that takes some time to uncover.

~True love inspires people, and people will often let you know it. 

~7 days of no AC is a lot harder than it sounds, and it makes it impossible to cuddle with your lover. Or lug your camera around to take pictures (sorry for the iphone photos :-/)

~Dancing to Justin bieber and One Direction in a caravan with AC is like heaven on a trip with no electricity. 

~Chakras are cool as shit.

~My story is certainly different but everyone has a story… And mine is a lot more relatable to people than I sometimes think. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone.

~Coming home to a pissed off, abnormally vocal cat after a 7 day vacation is no bueno, and cat time outs are real. Meow.

Thanks for an amazing trip Bri and everyone!!! Miss you guys already! ❤

This photo almost didn’t exist… and I’ve been a mess this week because of it.

I learned a very important lesson after thinking I had lost my memory card full of beautiful images from a client shoot with an amazing family. What I learned was far beyond just a lesson on being more careful with my cards. I learned that you can’t replace memories, and that pictures are far more important than we are sometimes aware of. I was reminded of the importance of my job, and the responsibility that comes along with it. These images are treasures, and the thought of losing such a treasure was truly heartbreaking for me and for this family. I also learned that sometimes what we are looking for truly is in plain sight. I searched every nook and cranny in my bag, went back to the park and scoured every inch of grass I had been in. Then today I went into one of the pockets in my bag where I keep my business cards, which appeared to just be as I’ve left them, a stack of cards, totally flat. I had looked on either side of that stack of cards 10 times, and even pulled them out to look under them. I don’t know what made me sift through them today… but I did, and the card fell out from inside the stack of cards into my hand. It was there all along, right in front of my eyes, I just had to look a little harder. Hard lesson for me, but such an important one. I am just so grateful that I was able to find these images… I hope the stress I caused this family is erased at least partially by the excitement of getting these memories back. ❤

I had heard that the twin flame relationship is like a mirror from the very beginning of my journey with Candace. In the beginning I took more of a superficial approach to the idea of a mirrored relationship. I saw it as meaning we were an exact replica of each other, like we were the same person. Every little quirk that we discovered made us scream with elation… “oh my god you’re deathly afraid of fish too???” “we both have the same honking laugh that we got rid of when we were teenagers!!! “You have to sleep with a 1980s style box fan? So do I!!!!” But as we’ve gotten deeper into our relationship I’ve realized that the idea of mirrors is much more about reflection, not replication. Our individual qualities are often so polar opposite that they reflect back onto us what we need to see more clearly within ourselves. We are able to see our strongest, and our weakest qualities more clearly, because the other persons qualities reflect them back to us. For example, we are very different when it comes to communication. My ease with verbal communication has made Candace in an argument realize that she needs to open up more, express herself, and spend more time verbally working things out. On the other hand, her good listening skills, calming energy, and ability to forgive and move on quickly has made me realize that my communication skills can sometimes lead to me dominating conversation, talking in circles, and bull dozing the quieter person. The more dominant qualities that we have come with their good and their bad, and having a partner with opposite qualities causes this yin and yang factor that pushes us to evolve as people, and also creates this beautiful challenge in the relationship with balance being the ultimate goal.

This idea of mirrors finally made sense to me earlier on our morning run, which is often when I have the most clarity. Ironically enough, as I was explaining what I want to write about, Candace and I had a classic conversation which proved exactly what I was trying to explain. Once I finally had my thoughts together, I excitedly started telling Candace what it was that I wanted to write about. She listened intently for several minutes as my explanation turned into a bit of a rambling broken record. Like a hyper kid asking “do ya get it do ya get it do ya get it?!?!?!” my intensely energetic excitement for what I had just wrapped my brain around was met with my mirror who listens ever so intently, patiently takes it all in, and then eventually gets frustrated by the repetition and blurts out “Yes Emily, I get it, I got it as soon as you started explaining it.” And then we both started hysterically laughing. In this type of situation I am always learning that I don’t need to explain things 37 times, and Candace is learning that if she just communicates more verbally, maybe I will shut up a little faster 😉

And now, I will listen to Justin Timberlakes “Mirrors” on repeat for the rest of the day. ;-p